Loneliness...like a wave. The tide is coming in. I know it'll recede after a while, but will rise again in a never ending cycle. I've tried my hand at another kind of existence several times, met with constant spurning, rejection, and defeat. I feel the waves drowning me, tossing me, attempting to rend me asunder. I won't let them. If lonely I am, then lonely I must be. I will make the most of it, I suppose.

I don't really know what to do. I don't know why I'm still in love with the exact same person, even though I feel like they cut me deep. I know that loving her only hurts me more and running away makes me want more, but I can't keep crumbling under weakness. What's the point in wearing a mask and pretending I'm satisfied with a life that causes me to suffer from longing and discontent? I am no longer able to live a lie...I can only try to find a cure for love, the least lethal, but most devastating scourge I have yet to encounter....